9/12/12

What is your obsession?

What is my obsession? It makes you think. What am I crazy about? What do I do all the time. What can I not live without? When I think, and come up with an answer. All I can think about is being with my friends. They are my obsession. I think my parents would agree. I love my friends, I love being with them, and I love the feeling that they want me too. That I am wanted in a community. That is my greatest obsession. I have worked hard to be where I am now. I have played the game, that teenage social ‘ping pong game.’ Social dynamics that are always changing. I have worked hard to get where I am now. When I was younger, especially in middle school. I didn’t have many friends. Possibly 2 or 3 good girl friends. I was not “popular” I was not known. I was passed, ignored, and left in the dark. I would watch my classmates laughing together, talking about the time they had spent together. It made me sad. It made me lonely. It made me want to change. I wanted to have friends, I wanted to go out and do things. Be with people, and have fun. So that’s what I did, and I accomplished that goal.  Now as a junior in high school, I have one of the greatest groups of girl friends. We have all been very close since 7^th grade, and we have stuck together. A couple of have become distant and moved on. But the majority of us have stayed together. We are a strong group, and we are constantly together. If not have a girl’s night, we’re out in the town. Within my group of friends who I have nicked names “My Giggly Group of Girlfriends”, I have smaller groups of friends. I attend a different school, then most of the other girls. I ended up making some other very close friends at Laurel. And within that I have had to navigate several different social scenes and dynamics. Hopping from group to group, splitting my days, spending multiple nights out. It must sometimes drive my parents crazy. But its who I am, I love being social. I love to be out and about. And if I’m home alone, and I know others are together, it makes me go insane. I think because if I know people are together, and I’m not there, it reminds me of when I was lonely. When I wished, and prayed that I could be with them. I believe my parents understand that. Which is why they are so accommodating, they understand where I have been, and then where I am now. It’s my obsession. I am now a social teenager. I have to be with my friends. I’m addicted. It’s the main factor of my happiness. I couldn’t imagine going back to the loneliness. Being stuck in the shadows, unnoticed, unheard. I love my friends, and I know they love me too.  I am now wanted. That is my obsession; to be wanted by others.